Josh Emerges From the June Rubble

The dust has settled on a particularly active June. A June that that successfully created the illusion that I had a life. Well done June. Here's why June was busy:

1. I MOVED!

I successfully escaped the land of Perpetual 1986, aka My Apartment on 3213 S Holmes. The new apartment is 2715 S Dupont*, which is not exactly directly next door to the Green Mill like I had my heart set on, but close enough.**

I'm most proud of the fact that I lived in Perpetual 1986 for ten months, and I only did the dishes once. That was the day I left. Because they were the landlady's dishes. One of them was from September. It was covered in some sort of black goo I can only assume was alien symbiote that got on my skin and will eventually turn me into Venom, or a Gay-Emo. A Geemo.

I am least proud of the fact that I was living at the new palce for two weeks before I realized I needed more toilet paper. You needn't know how I survived. In completely unrelated news, Magers and Quinns used book policy is completely lax.

2. TONY AND TINA MOVED!

Tony n' Tina's Wedding has moved to the Mall of America for something called "The Summer or Love," despite the fact there are several gigantic yellow stand-ups declaring this summer as "The Summer of Spongebob" Don't think there won't be a war.

Fitting the show into a new space has been a lot of work, but people still seem to be having a good time, which means I'll continue to get fake drunk for the rest of the summer. Just, you know, in Camp Snoopy.

Also, when I was in seventh grade, I wrote a story about how great it would be to live inside the Mall of America. Now that I spend a majority of my time there, I can tell you that story was wrong. Of course, also in that story, I witnessed a mob hit, and Joe Pesci tried to kill me, and I ended up winning the heart of Cindy Crawford.

Just like in real life.

3. TONY WENT GAY!!

By far the most rewarding part of June was the revamping of Tony and Tina's into "Tony and Timothy's Wedding" for pride weekend*** The show was a fantastic experience through and through. The final l product ended up being hilarious, sweet, and as well brief brushes of poignancy.

I was still Barry, the best man, though this time, I'm the only straight guy at an all gay-wedding. So I got to play uncomfortable and squirmy, which the gougars found ADORABLE! Oh, what's a gougar? That's a gay cougar.

They also got my shirt off several times. Apparently, unshaven furbie-like appearance is in amongst the gays. If I ever switch teams, there'll be no shortage of dating opportunities.

But, the busy has now subsided, and once the busy goes away, I'm left with with a new apartment with no furniture. Still a hammock though.

Always the hammock.

*Devotee's of The Carson Daily (All both of yous) may recall my past admonishing the very idea of living on Dupont. Well, my words are delicious, thank you very much.

**I learned that because whilst stumbling home, I called someone to protect me from getting raped -- Rapists don't want to interrupt your phone calls. You could be paying a bill -- and the conversation went as such: "I just left the Green M-- HEY, I'M HOME ALREADY!" ::Click::

*** Pre-pride weekend actually. Trying to get gays to come to a pride-themed show on pride is like trying to get Jesus to show up to your place for Christmas dinner.