Josh Has Six Months To Live

There are worse things in this world than turning thirty. Turning forty for example. However, none of those things are currently happening directly to me, though rest assured my bitching shall not be silenced when they do.

Actually, turning thirty isn't even happening directly to me. Not just yet. April 7th marks the halfway point. Or the final countdown if you will. (And that's not me being negative. As soon as someone writes a rock anthem called "Halfway Point," I will be happy to just reference that)

I have an important decision to make this day: Do I spend the next six months adultifying my life -- activities including being able to pay for bills, not using various floors in my apartment as a hamper, and having more in my fridge than a leftover piece of veggie pizza even though I consider veggie pizza the same thing as Epicac Pizza? -- or do I just enjoy the hell out of twenties and hope things will work themselves out somehow?

I think you'll see the route I went with as I present my "Six Months to Live" list:

• First of all, I've spent the first six months getting back into regular acting gigs. Coincidentally, that's also when I started going broke again, but whatevs. Being a part of Tony N' Tina's Wedding has fulfilled many list items, as its been the most fun I've had doing a show since college, and at the risk of being over sentimental, become a part of a family that I know will be around long after the show suddenly closes next weekend -- an unlikely occurrence we're constantly reminded could occur at any moment.

As for the rest:

• Jump out of an airplane - Either sanctioned or while making a daring get away from bad guys.
• Run one or multiple 5K's - Some people say this should be a marathon, but F that. I still adults shouldn't run. Ever. Have you ever watched an adult run? It's unnatural. Like a dog playing pool.
• Water Park Vacation - Water parks are the best. As I can't afford too extreme a vacation, it'll likely just be a two day trip to Noah's Ark this summer. Who's with me?
• Start Writing Again - This is an ongoing quest for me, one which I will write about at greater lengths later. This is the one I'm taking the most seriously. Not that jumping out of a plane shouldn't be taken seriously.
• Meet my future pet, Pug Jack Bauer.
• Create a bidding war at a bachelor auction.
• Save the economy - This is one is just selfish, because I'm sick of everyone blaming the hard economic times for everything, including speeding tickets and infidelity.
• Crash a parade -- Actually, I can check that one off. St. Patrick's Day
• Become someone's favorite person.
  
• Lock myself out of my apartment twice. -- Again, check. Again, St. Patrick's Day.
  
• Win the hand of an unlikely lady love in an extremely public forum, ala every Adam Sandler movie. The music of Journey will also be involved.
• On a very separate occasion, be at an event, blare Journey's "Any Way You Want It" with the intent that yes, indeed, we are all gonna' get laid.
• Learn to cook something other than Chef Boy R Dee and hot dogs. Apparently, you can't live off of those.
• Get married on the clock tower at Universal Studios. That's really more of a life goal.

I think that's a nice healthy start. Some goals easy, some lofty, but all of them something that can only be done by a twenty-nine year old.

Unless thirty's the new twenty-five. It can't be the new twenty. Thirty was the new twenty five years ago. So, you know. Math applied.