Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Next is "Murder at My Friend Harry's" by Owen. 'Chapter one: The night was humid.'...Class dismissed. I have a terrible headache in my eye.

Entertainment Weekly has compiled a list of "New Classics" (Which I'm shocked the TNT network hadn't copyrighted the term) of various mediums of the past twenty-five years. Movies, TV, Books, and to a lesser extent Movies, Fashion, and Stage.

I've tallied up my scores, and out of those lists I have:

- Seen 65 of the movies
- Watched 49 of the TV shows (I counted them if I hung in with the show for a solid two seasons) - Read 11 of the books

Of those eleven: four were an English Class in high school, two were because I liked the movie, and at least two were Harry Potters.

Sensing that a puff piece in a watered down version of the Hollywood trades was going to make me look and feel stupid sometime during the middle of the year, I proactively decided to tackle the dilemma six months early.

After receiving an extremely thoughtful and much appreciated Christmas present, I decided to make a New Year's resolution to read one book a month. Some* may scoff at setting the bar so low, however you must realize that my previous record was one boy wizard book every two years, but then the homeless British woman decided she had enough of those.

The idea behind this resolution was that perhaps it would ignite in me the desire to read, which has laid dormant since I was in middle school and the books became much heavier.

Amazingly, that resolution stuck. (Josh regretfully glances at the devoured bag of Doritos and beer bottles on the night-stand to his right, while the full bag of carrots in the fridge quietly passes the time by making friends with the undrank Powerade)

Going by my book a month count, I should read twelve books this year. I'm well on my way to breaking that and to be a full-fledged adult.

Here are mini-reviews of the books I've read, and upon completion, spiked the book, did an end-zone dance, and burned the book so it's magic spell could never harm again:

Born Standing Up - by Steve Martin
This was Steve Martin's auto-biographical account of his years as a stand-up, and given the subject matter, I was fascinated. It was also very cool to in Los Angeles at the time, and a stone's throw from all the historic places where his career began. While I lack his dedication, focus, and drive, I do have his ability to carry out a threat. At the end of his rope in Los Angeles, he packed up everything he owned, fully intending to drive home, unless he received an significant sign compelling him to stay. Martin stayed, I make twelve kiddie cocktails a day.

The Ruins by Scott Smith
For some reason, I'm a big of fan of books or television shows that contain plot elements that are perfectly acceptable when initially presented to the viewer (or reader viewer), but if attempted to explain to an outside source, it makes you sound 98% retarded. This book has one of those plots, but that not withstanding, it was spookier than a werewolf bar mitzvah while I read it. Plus, I finally got to be one of those people** who get to say the book was better than the movie.

A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby
Nick Hornby has written some of my favorite British non-wizarding books like High Fidelity and About a Boy (The movies were just as good, and in one case, even better), but he also wasted what could've been perfectly good toilet paper on How to Be Good, and A Long Way Down falls somewhere in between. It's a story about four strangers who all try to kill themselves on New Years Eve (The most popular night to commit suicide), meet on the same roof-top, form an unlikely pact and unlikelier friendships, and decide to give themselves until Valentine's Day (The second most popular night to commit suicide) to give one another reasons not to commit suicide. I just realized this the opposite problem of The Ruins in which the plot description is better than the book itself.

I Am America (And So Can You!) - by Stephen Colbert
Hilarious. Very hilarious. You will laugh out loud. Pretty much like reading a joke-book, though disguised as satire, so people think you're smart.

I Love You Beth Cooper - by Larry Doyle
This is probably my favorite book I've ever read. A simple, frequently told tale of a high-school nerd and his unrequited love of the head cheerleader, this book is funny, sweet, heartbreaking, inspiring -- all of those things. I've never been one to give books as presents, cause they used to intimidate me before I conquered so many, but this book is destined to become a part of the "Josh Carson Start-Up Pack" Read it. It makes your life better, if only during the all-too-brief time it takes you to read it.

A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore
This is the story of a sad-sack single father who discovers that he's been given the job of being death...kind-of. It's a little like the TV show Reaper, if you're familiar. It's funny enough, but almost chokes to death on its own quirkiness before copping out in the end.

The Chris Farley Show by Thomas Farley and Tanner Colby
Told by first hand accounts from friends and family (ala the Saturday Night Live book from a few years back) this is a very frank and candid story of a talented young man who do absolutely anything to be loved. It's great to relive all the moments that made us enjoy Farley, unless you're the type*** who didn't enjoy Farley. The last few chapter are very emotional and sad, and I think my occasional friend Bobby said it best (Now that I think about it, I think Bozic was making fun of him) that despite already knowing the end, the book almost convinces you that he was going to make it out okay in the end.

Word War Z by Max Brooks
This is actually told in the same style as the Chris Farley book, except entirely made-up because it's about the aftermath of a zombie war. It's very smart, satirical, and I really dug the History-esque feel of the presentation, but in the end, I had the same reaction I do of any non-Shaun of the Dead zombie movie. Individual scenes are great, often brilliant, but eventually, all those scenes on top of each other, it just becomes the same zombie noise all over again.

Now, my mad experiment has evolved so that I'm currently tackling three books at one time!

Sing it with me now:

I am so smart!
I am so smart!
S-M-R-T
I mean,
S-M-A-R-T!

* Assholes
** More Assholes.
*** Uppity Assholes

1 comment:

Jason said...

Well, I liked How to Be Good. I thought it was an intriguing exploration of the eternal question: "Do women really want us to change, or do they just like to complain?"