Here's a conversation that just makes you want to push all the red buttons and release all the bombs so we can just start the F over.
So, there I was, in Borders bookstore, pretending to mock the self-help titles but secretly wondering why I can't stop sobbing in the shower, and I overhear a group of young ruffians. Roughly in the age range of fourteen to sixteen. Certainly not four to six. That's a story point you'll be calling me a liar about in a few minutes.
The Sweathogs were passing by an election display. Various gag gifts of republican and democrat jokes, and a number of books dedicated to Obama and McCain themselves (proving that the literary world has its share of hacks and sell-outs as well)
The following conversation has not been altered in anyway, it is being transcribed exactly as it happened. Only the names have been made-up.
DYLAN MCKAY. (The leader. Well, the leader of the rebel children) Hey, who won this contest? The black guy, or the white guy?
SIMON. (The smart one, with glasses and a long blue-shirt that's pretty much a dress) It hasn't happened yet idiot. [This is the smartest statement made in the entire conversation, and likely, this trio's entire day and/or month]
HERMIONE. (Hermione) I think the girl should win, because girls should be in charge of everything.
DYLAN MCKAY. She already got voted off you dumb-ass.
...
Jesus.
Just....jesus.
Shut it down.
Just shut the whole thing down.
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1 comment:
Are you effing kidding me? You can't be serious. You just CAN'T be... I have lost faith in America. If I knew where my passport was, I'd burn it. Probably not for real though. I'd make a fake passport and burn it because I actually kind of like my American citizenship and how awesome it is that I can say all this noise and not get beheaded tomorrow. Beheaded, or something far worse (what could be worse?)
But really... if children think politics is like Survivor, I'm going to have to hurt something. Perhaps one of these children. Not Hermione, though. She's a hottie.
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