I'm going to bed before either of you can come up with another clever idea to get us all killed - or worse, expelled.

I think it's possible that I may have to sort out my priorities.

I've been looking forward to this weekend since three days after I was born. The Dark Knight and Neil Diamond. Batman and Jewish Elvis. Two ass-kicking heroes who would and probably have already saved your life, even though you don't deserve it.

Since I was closing on Thursday and opening on Friday, that ruled out a midnight viewing of the darkest of knights, which is just as well, cause I can't quite handle the fanboy crowd anymore. (It's not an almost thirty thing. It's that they're almost forty.)

My work schedule allowed me ample room to attend the second coming of Jesus, cinematically speaking, on Friday night, then work another day shift on Saturday, and Saturday evening to witness the Jazz singer in all his glory, recover Sunday morning for an afternoon shift that will crushingly bring me back to the reality I hate.

HOWEVER

A Chris Rock shaped wrench was tossed into the gears when Justin offered up a ticket to see Chris Rock stand-up and tell jokes on Friday evening.

That knocked the man bat out of Friday night. Saturday was out as a back-up, because of the working, Sunday didn't allow enough time to wake up from the Neil hangover and take in a feature film and process how much those two events have changed all of our lives forever and get to work by three.

That meant a midnight showing, but Hippie Girlfriend, already iffy on the whole Batman thing (Is it possible that there those out there that aren't dying to see this movie? Yes, it's possible. They are out there. And they don't have penis') hesitated when she said 'Sure.' There was also a question mark in there somewhere. She also went as far to suggest that maybe it'd be best to wait until, and we broke up for three seconds after she suggested so, Monday or Tuesday.

A man died for this movie, the least we can do is be punctual.*

Plan C's are rarely employed, and equally rarely successful, however after a few dial-ups and called in favors, I only work half a shift on Saturday morning, off by ten in the AM, making Saturday, Dark Diamond Day. Has there ever been a case of someone OD-ing on awesome, cause there might be Sunday morning.

I was then given a slight pause. I can't figure out what I want to do with my life, to the point of midday anxiety attacks that feel like heart attacks, but the thought of not seeing Batman on opening weekend awakens a fire within me to move mountains.

See, the resources are there, I just need the proper motivation. Was this the proper motivation?

I then saw a poster letting me know that Winnie Cooper (some people also call her Danica MacKellar) will be the Rosedale Borders on August 16th, signing her new "Math is Fun, Especially the Winnie Way" books. I took this as a reward letting me know that my accomplishments for the day were indeed accomplishments of a man who was on the right path.

I'm going to have to fake an interest in Math, and hope Hippie Girlfriend is familiar with the concept of Celebrity Lists, but whatevs, those are August 16th problems.

Three days until Dark Diamond.

*And to all you people claiming that it's just a movie, I'll refer to the summer of 2002, when Justin and I backed over a little girl as we rushed to Spider-Man. Relax, she was fine, her bike wasn't, and we were there in time for the previews.